I have always loved to know or feel how its like
to walk anywhere I want, do whatever I like
and not get any bad comments for it.
With our actions not being explicit or harmful for that matter.
Been thinking about you.

At some point, I feel restricted in the many ways of just being myself.
Imprisoned from my wild side,
Confined from the times where I just want to be alone
and not being judged as emo or depressed.
From the days where I just want to be who I want to be,
normal or not.
Some times, I still wonder who you're liking right now.

Most of these restrictions don't even come from
the law, school rules, or even any form etiquette.
These are just a code of conduct of being rational in your behavior.
Nothing wrong with that.
It can't stop you from being open minded, wild or even, stupid.
But what could, is bad comments.
Some times, I still think you're hiding things from me.

Bad comments are inevitable.
No one has no flaws.
And that being a fact, we're all bound to make mistakes.
But its not like we're unaware of it.
You can't just barge in and spill all your thoughts out,
say whatever you want, thinking you know what's right,
and hope your harsh words would somehow be
a trigger for us to correct our mistakes.
Sometimes, I know I'm just thinking too much. :D

The truth is, the content of the comments aren't always as hurtful.
It is, or most of the time, the way you say it or how we come
to find out that hurts the most.
Maybe there are just some things we're not fully honest with
each other.

With that in mind,
there are two types of people which I particularly hate the most.
The first one are the Straightforward people.
People who speak their minds without thinking.
Bad comments are spoken without the thought of whether it
might come out hurtful for the other person.
I don't mean that they should beat around the bush
but if they really take heart felt emotions into consideration,
being too direct isn't the right approach at all.
A lot of them don't even realise that they're actually
hurting the other party.
And even if they do, they would just be like :
" BUT ITS THE TRUTH!"
And I always wish I could rewind time and ask you
that question.

The second are the Backstabbers.
People who are so afraid of confrontations and speak behind others back.
A lot of them have the right intentions in mind,
they're afraid of revealing the truth, thinking it might hurt that person a lot,
but there's a minority.
They're ones who fabricate lies and assumptions spreading to everyone
like nobody's business.
Assumptions which could be degrading or even fatal,
assumptions which are called Rumours.
But Sometimes, I wish I could just start over.

We're all no stranger to bad comments.
Or even the undesirable methods of expressing it.
And its important that if we understand how dreadful it can be,
we must not contradict ourselves and be part of it.
That way we can extinguish its existence
and it'll be a taboo in the society.
Saw your blog, and the title. Kinda makes me wonder,
if its about the explanation the other day.

Being an introvert in primary school, I've been pushed around a lot.
A small size kid, being attacked by all those comments
every single day.
Calling me names, treating me like I'm some extra shit,
like I'm their punching bag.
Some times I wonder whether if its because I'm mixed
that's why I can't fit in.
I have to lie to myself saying " they're just joking around "
Because they're my friends.
Hope we could talk about it some day :)

And in secondary school, even after being groomed
to where I could stand up for myself and for my friends,
Bad comments never fail to keep flowing in.
There are still those friends who are just so direct
vomiting all your flaws making it more obvious than ever.
Sometimes I think they do it just to make themselves feel better.
Like they're just so perfect.
Even now, I can still see some of my friends
stuck in that social stigma I've been in 4 years ago.
Anyone who tries to spill any rumours about him,
I swear I will hunt you down.
Hope I could one day be good enough for you to confide in.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Been trying to catch up with all the work I've missed
during the first few months of the year
because of all Councillor events and Bball.
But with that out of the way now,
I'm hoping to balance all the academic stuff with my routines.
Can't study all day 24/7!
And You're getting more and more prettier ahh
JOLYN TAN you know anot!!!

Recently, there was the sports carnival.
Participated in the Frisbee competition instead of the road relay.
And I've gotta say, Frisbee is SOO FUN.
Its the last year to have a game with my school mates
and it was so enjoyable.
But it was still a competition though, so like all other classes,
we fought hard and made our way to the finals.
We talked about the finals before the games and
all of us predicted that the only time we'd meet 4E2 is in the finals.
And we did.
They were really good and we lost, coming in second.
HAHA but it was still fun though getting mud all over and stuff :D
Stay happy ;) and all the best for your concert!

Sadly, Mid years are coming real soon,
hope I'm just as ready as the rest!