One of the things I usually do during the last few days
of December is to read the Archives in my Blog.
And by archives I mean,
Archives of the current year of 2011 and also
particularly the archive of December 2010.


HELL NO I AINT GOING BACK TO
THE ARCHIVES IN 2008 / 2009 LOL
* embarrassing*


If you have a blog, its really nice to re-read
all the nonsense you wrote in your blog for the past
2- 3 years?
Blogging has always been a place for me
to articulate my thoughts.
Kinda like those reasons why people have diaries.
A reflection paradise. HAHA.
But that wasn't the reason why I started blogging.


I started blogging in 2008
and back then, Blogging was the trend.
I was influenced greatly by the number of my friends
who have blogs and so I decided to try it out.
Blogging for me, then became more of
" hoping people would come visit your blog."
But I guess with the grand entrance of
Facebook and Twitter, blogging got lesser attention
And for a period , I stopped blogging too.
I think months after that, I re-entered blogging
with the intention of reflecting.
I believe most of us have participated in camps of any kind.
and most of them have a reflection time where they would
ask you to jot down your thoughts and feelings.
Yeah. Blogging to me, became like that.
AND TRUST ME, BLOGGING HELPS PSYCHOLOGICALLY.


HAHA wont elaborate further.
Anyways, 2 days left before the New Year 2012!
I think I'm gonna hang out with my friends
during the day of the Countdown HAHA
So I have got to finish all my Homework before this SAT!
CHIONG~
I've also thought of my New Year Resolution.
and this time I'm really want to accomplish this.
I have in total of 4 resolutions:


1. To achieve at least 5 A's for O lvl
2. To get into Grade 4 for guitar before the end of next year.
3. Stay committed to Workouts!
4. Be stronger emotionally.


Next year December 2012, Imma re-read this again.
And lets see what happens! Excited~

You know when you really want something,
you'd do anything to get it. Right?
But what if you reach to that point,
where things are just not within your control
and that you just can't do anything at all?


Let's say you want to impress someone,
you would find out what that person likes and dislikes,
you would spend time to understand that person's style,
you would try ways to make that person feel special.


you'd do your best to help her up when she's down.
you'd be far more patient than ever when she gives
a negative response and
you'd be there for her when she needs you.


You do all that because you feel something for her.
Because you know its worth it.


You thought you had it all figured out.
You thought that she felt the same way as you.
You thought that you were building sth strong.


Sometimes it ends up as the happily ever after.
Sometimes you alr knew from the start that it wouldnt work out.
Sometimes its that feeling after you've tried again and again
and you thought that this time, things would turn out differently
but you still end up crashing down in disappointment.


Its that point when you feel shocked.
That point when you feel like you're just not good enough.
That point when you can't do anything at all.


False hopes.


Time is running out.
Holidays are ending and it's gonna be a busy year next year.
Hope it all ends well.
"God only gives his toughest battles to his toughest soldiers"

So..... HEY!
(awkward) :B
HAHA! Merry Christmas!
I know if you're reading this right now,
it goes to show that you're #FOREVER ALONE!
So get your ass off the internet and
enjoy Christmas with your family and friends!
No?
What do you mean No?
Not turning off your comp?
Me neither :B


Haha! My family don't really celebrate Christmas.
So every year, when you guys are HOHOHO-ing
I'm just at home ZZZZZZZZ-ing.
LIKE A PIG! :D
But this year, just to get into that Christmas spirit
and also to enjoy the last few days of the "Holidays",
I've decided to celebrate Christmas Eve with a few friends!
And to be frank, even after celebrating Christmas Eve
I still haven't got into that Christmas spirit yet.
BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY,
WAS AWESOME. =D


I woke up yesterday morning at around 9.30 am
feeling extremely lethargic and lazy.
You know in the morning,when you're still in bed
and someone tries to wake you up,
and you have to do your signature move
the "roll-to-ignore + uuhhhhh 5 more mins moan" ?
Yeah that was how i was like. Just that
no one was trying to wake me up.
Because I was alr wide awake.
BUT I JUST DON'T WANT TO GET OUT OF BED!


So alr with a Zombie Mind in the morning on Christmas eve,
I was later called by my Dad to help out in
painting my sister's room.
Btw, painting, ISN'T EASY AT ALL!
Its a good work out for all you people
who wants to lose weight.
Im serious.
Gotta give credit to those bangala workers
who paints building.
So by the time I'm finished with painting it was alr 5.30 pm.
And I'm exhausted like mad.
I had the least satisfying bath because I had to rush
to meet my friends at 6.30 pm.
and you may think
SINCE YOU'RE TIRED, why not just don't go out?
HAHA|
1. I alr told my friends I was going
2. she was there.
>.<


On the way to town with my friends.
I was looking at the train map and thinking
" what are the odds of me meeting her? hmm"
I did ask her where she was at but she didnt want to tell me.
But I knew that was my chance to meet her.
SO I GOTTA FIND HER!
We dropped off at somerset because my friends wanted to go
to the flea market at SCAPE :D
At that time I remembered she started
dropping hints on the location of where she's at.
saying " AHH ITS REALLY HOT IN HERE!"
and instantly my mind clicked.
There's only one place that could fit that hint.
The Flea Market.
What a coincidence. Or... Fate ? :B
HAHA


As we were walking over to the Flea Market,
my friends alr knew that my major motive was finding her
and they're interested too.
because they wanted to meet her!
I told one of the my friend who is a girl,
let's just call her Grace,
I told Grace to pretend to be the girl I used to like
and be real close to me HAHA!
My attempt in making her Jealous! XD


When we reached the Flea Market,
Grace didn't know how she looked like so,
the whole time i had to keep looking,
I even turned my head 360 degrees
to make sure i didn't miss out on anyone there. LOL jk.
I was in alert mode.
But of course, I didn't want to look like someone idiot
searching for a beautiful girl hiding in the Flea market,
I wanted to be natural.
So my alert mode was not as alert?
and because of that, she saw me first.
and i was... shocked.
I looked every where. Still couldn't find her.
FAIL.


LOL In disappointment, my friends and I head back to
Artease to have our "dinner"
To add on to my disappointment, she told me that
she's "going home soon" because
her friend had to go home and she wanted to accompany her.
BUT THEN
She suddenly said she's walking back to Burger King because
her friend lost her wallet and they're hoping to find it there.
At that time, I was still in Artease and i turned around in my sit,
and i pointed, Burger King is just there...
2 shops away.
Before I could even reply " OK IM GONNA FIND YOU"
She texted me " we're now at Burger King"
hmmmmm it kinda seems like she wants me to find her XD
HAHA!


SO.. as I walked into Burger King
my heart was pounding really fast XD
HAHAHA
And there she was.
at last, I've found her.
And my god, she looks really beautiful.
I followed her and her friends around the area
in our "adventure" to find the lost wallet.
A lot of back and forths and awkward conversations.
Actually the awkward conversations came from me
cuz I kinda asked weird questions. LOL
BUT CANT HELP IT! I WAS NERVOUS YO!
and I really wanted to talk to her. HAHA


In the end, we ended up at Yishun's Police station
to file a report on the lost wallet.
LOL
If I could record a video of them at the Police station
making a report on the LOST WALLET,
I won't name the video " Report on lost of wallet"
I'll name it "Kopitiam session with Police Hunk"
LOL
they were laughing and chatting with the
Police guy rather than making a report. HAHA
The serious atmosphere just vanished the minute
they started making the report.
HAHA


After that, we encountered some strange things
and it was LOL
HAHA
One of her friends had to go home first
so after she left, me her and her friend,
the 3 of us hanged out at Mac Donald and
we just starting chatting.
Conversations got better.
She asked me questions and told me a lot of things.
HAHA


We took a cab home and I had to send her to her doorstep.
I was actually afraid that the ride with her would be awkward
but it wasn't! HAHA
THANK GOD SHE'S NOT SHY OR AT THAT TIME
I'LL DIE.
woah that rhymes haha.
So when we reached her house,
I accompanied her up the lift.


In the lift, that time, we're quiet and she's looking at her phone
I didn't want to miss that chance.
But I was also afraid and nervous >.<
I went over to  her and pretend to see what she's looking at in her phone
and then... =)
I felt really great. I felt in love haha and it was like my first time. HAHA
I wonder how you felt then.. >.<


I sent her to her doorstep and after that went home with
like my BIGGEST SMILE EVER. :D
Recollecting everything that happened that night,
I couldn't help but smile XD
I couldn't sleep when I got home haha
that night with her was the best Christmas present .
HAHA
I hope I didn't ruin the impression you have of me..=I

This Christmas Eve has got to be the highlight of my Holidays
I got to know Xue Teng and Qing Wen
and I met her!! WOOHOO
HAHA :)
So..How did you spend your Christmas Eve?

Holidays are ending soon.
The period where I rush my Homework.
Yeah Yeah,I know.
You're with me in this too right? XD
Okay then,
GET YOUR EYEBALLS OFF THIS WEB PAGE,
AND GET STARTED!
kidding~


Every year at this time when I'm left with only
2 week before the school starts,
in the midst of rushing all these undone work,
I'm thinking, why didn't I start to do all these earlier.
HAHA
Bad decision making.


I bet some of you who have completed all your homework
are now like KINGS
kkkkkkkk fine,
for all you ladies, QUEENS.
Because a lot of people would be begging for your answers!
And you would sit on that modern throne of yours
laughing to yourself.
 LIKE A BOSS.


Its a great feeling when you make the right decisions.
and everything turns out PERFECT.
But what happens when you don't?
Because 7 times out of 10,
I make bad decisions.
And even now, like recently,
I screwed up.


And after you thought that screwing up was the end
of your worst nightmare,
all the blaming, scolding, mocking, gossiping
takes place.
Its not like you wanted to screw up,
Its not like you weren't prepared,
Its not like you planned all that to happen.


And in the process of all that,
Quarrels, fights, break-ups happen.
Your friends starts gossiping about you.
Your crush hates you.
And its not like you've got no one to turn to,
Its just that there's no one close enough to you
to understand and give you advice.
You feel
torn-ed,
Hurt,
Lost,
tired.
and it all revolves around
making Bad decisions.


Ever felt that way before?
Well. I have.
It sucks doesn't it?


I remember a quote saying
" The hardest part is not making the decision,
Its living with it."
Back then, I could never really relate to the quote,
I never understood how a decision
could haunt you.
But now I know.


I've made a lot of Bad Decisions recently,
And I've cause many problems
to my friends and especially her.


Saying sorry won't help change a thing.
I guess in this society you just gotta learn to
clean the mess you've made alone.
Well all these are just part and parcel of
learning to live life
aye GOD?
I guess if all these problems doesn't come now,
it'll hit right at me sooner or later.
and I don't want it to be the time
when the stress levels are extremely high.
SO THANK YOU GOD!~


After all,
"If you can't live with the decision you've made,
go make another one."
I can feel that you're gone.

Haven't been posting for a while.
So I've decided to share a story that I have.


Bringing about a change in yourself,
is not easy. AT ALL.
Especially when the change is against the flow of the common
Especially when it is to correct your bad habits.


Most of us change,
because we're constantly affected by the environment
Some of us change,
Because we're constantly affecting the environment.


But either way, changing is challenging.
That is why you have got to have a reason for that change.
A reason you'd believe in.
Not your friends, not your family, nobody.
but you.


And how I figured that out was
because of a mistake I made..........


I did not like it when
I was chosen to be a Councillor.


To you people who are not Councillors,
I'm pretty sure MOST of my Councillor friends
Have rant about being chosen as a Student Councillor.


To my Councillor friends,
If you're still feeling that way,
HOLLA AT ME CUZ IMMA WHIP YOUR ASS.
But...... you can whip mine first. :D
kidding~


You see, I know why you guys don't want to be Councillors,
I had a hard time in my first year in Sec 1 being one too.
And after my first month,
I would hear small little conversations about
people talking SHIT about Councillors.
and then I finally realise that the side effects
of being a Councillor had started sinking in:


1) People start teasing you about your black shoe.
2) Friends will not act the same way
and the worst of all,

3) NO MORE BEING THAT LITTLE DEVIL THAT
YOU ARE. XD


But I was alr in the Council Board.
There's no hey! ho! bye!
There's no backing off.
When i went for the interview
I never actually had the intention to serve the school.
But I had reason.


Back when i was in kindergarten,
My Grandma was the one who took care of me
when my Mom and Dad had to go to work.



All that i can say about myself then,
is that I was an angel.
on the outside XD
Inside me was that little rascal, mischievous devil
just waiting to come out.


one day..
Grandma took my brother,who's just 1 year older,
and me to the nearby supermarket.
PRIME SUPERMARKET.
Yes. The one at Admiralty.
At that time,
One of hand was carrying a plastic bag with
2 prunes in it.
And the other was holding my Grandma's hand.


As we got into the supermarket.
We wondered off and my Grandma started finding what
she needed to buy.
As a kid, or even now, I LOVE SWEETS.
So immediately, i went to the sweets & chocolate section.
Which was further deep in the supermarket.
When i got there I saw that shooting sweet.
Its like you put the small sweet into the shooting thing
and you aim it in your mouth and it shoots out the sweet
when you press the button.


I WANTED THAT.
But I know Grandma wouldn't buy it :(
So I had to device a plan.
I told my brother to help me keep watch.



My hand reached out for that sweet and...
I shoved it in the plastic bag I was carrying.
Me and my brother went back to find my Grandma,
And the instant I found her,
I hand her the plastic bag that i was carrying.
I think she thought that I was tired of carrying it so she took it.
she paid for the groceries, We left.

ME AND MY BRO TAG TEAM
LIKE A BOSS! XD


Guilt didn't even sink in at that time,
not because I didn't know that it was a crime
because I was so gangster!
THUG LIFE!
XD
kidding~


But 2 years after that,
when i was in Primary 2,
A Police group came into our school to give a talk
about Crime and crime prevention.
That's when everything that took place 2 years ago,
started coming back to haunt me.
And i was so afraid.
Yes. no more gangster.


That's why in Primary 3 I decided to become a prefect.
and the promise I made to myself was
"To change."


And i think when I was in secondary school,
all the responsibility and initiative thing that I've picked up
in primary school just came naturally when I was in Sec1
and thats probably the reason why I got chosen.
and I accepted the interview only because of that promise.


Up till now, I still can remember this because
it was a reason I had,
it was a promise to myself.
And that's why even with all the SHIT side effects,
I actually enjoyed being a Councillor


Because it brought me to who I am today :)



The problem wasn't the mistake I made,
It was the habit of doing it again.
That was what I was afraid of.


Its only when you've found a reason for doing sth,
whether you like it or not.
You'll still want to do it again.


That is my reason for being a Councillor.
That is my reason for a change.
Whats yours?
Please don't give up on me. :(

I Like that word.


Perfection.


Everyone's chasing it.


Everyday in school, there are so many and really SO MANY


people working so damn hard just to get to the level of perfection.


Students, Teachers, Canteen stall owners, Cleaners.....


ALL OF THEM


HAHA






Sometimes be it a normal school day or an Exam week,


when we happen to walk pass a class with ALL the hardworking students,


You would see all of them with their GAME FACES on.


They would be gripping their pens LIKE A BOSS


The minute the teacher gives the "You may start now",


its Pandemonium everywhere.


Everyone starts making that oh-so-irritating noise from their correction tapes


and scribbling their chicken scratch all over the paper


page after page after page.


You look at them at glance thinking :


WOAH CONFIRM PLUS CHOP A1 STUDENTS.


and a few weeks later, when the exam results arrive,


you don't need some round mystic ball that can tell the future,


because its always:


BAM!


BIG FAT A1






Sometimes you get to point where you start questioning yourself on


"why aren't I as diligent as them."


...........................


some of us after that would start looking up to these people


as a source of inspiration.


"From now on, Imma work my ass off and hope that one day,


I'd be as successful as them."


XD ( but some of us we say it,but we don't do it)


*Don't worry I'm like that sometimes too XD shhhhh*


..............................


Different people sees success differently


and personally for me, success is when someone becomes


a man of value.


So once I can be that wise,optimistic, positive thinking person


who don't give a shit about all the insults,gossips that i hear


from haters, then ill be successful :)






But That is only success alone.


Perfection... its totally different.


I don't know how you guys see perfection.


But From what i noticed,


to a lot of people,their perception of


perfection is like being successful at a same standard given.






Like when one day you've succeeded in becoming


that wise,optimistic person.


but you're not as wise as Will smith,


but you're not as optimistic as Adande,


and just because you're not on the same standard of success as them,